THE GRATITUDE CHALLENGE

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THE GRATITUDE CHALLENGE.

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THE GRATITUDE CHALLENGE

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I have decided to take up the challenge that my darling Aunt, Dr. Adeola Ayorinde has charged me with. I will be thanking God both on Facebook and on my Website for three areas of my life that I am grateful to him for the next three days! Here goes…

1. My heart is filled with profound gratitude for God’s mercies upon my life right from the day I was born until now. From a tender age, God placed me in a godly, loving and supportive family where I could have access to the undiluted word of God and where I saw my parents live out their faith daily. Those wonderful memories are still with me today and are a source of wisdom and inspiration to me in my life everyday.

2. God has blessed me with the gift of children. I gave birth to three big, healthy, intelligent and vibrant sons all within the space of 31/2 years (Don’t ask! I had a set of twins!) Each time I got pregnant, I never had to wait more than a month! I conceived with ease and delivered with ease. I experienced all these deliveries with no complications and no surgeries. What took others a while to achieve, in moments, God poured these gifts into my hands. I cannot thank God enough. His love for me is unprecedented.

3.I bless God for my husband, Adeniyi Adewale. He has been my best friend, my lover, my prayer support, my cheerleader and my teacher. I could have married the wrong man but God said NO! He stirred the course of my life with intervening circumstances leading me into the arms of my life partner today and 5 years after, I have no regrets. I cannot thank God enough.

MY NEW HALF YEAR RESOLUTIONS

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RESOLUTIONS 1

OK, so I know people usually write down their new resolutions at the beginning of a year but what if you make some resolutions in the middle of the year? I am sure there’s no law against writing them down late in the year. I recently made some new resolutions this July and so I have decided to call them my new ‘half year’ resolutions.

There’s my list in no particular order:

  1. Set up a ‘wow’ date for my husband and I.

Actually, I had planned to do this since the beginning of the year and had in fact achieved it when we went on a Couple’s retreat at a resort on the outskirts of Lagos in May but I still want a ‘wow’ date very soon. I know that two ‘dates’ in a year may sound like a lot to some of you (what a pity) and ridiculously few to others but that’s what happens when you marry a man who’s a cross between a banker, a pastor and a politician. Then throw in my day job ( In- house Legal/ Compliance officer/ Sanction Desk Officer) and my life’s job ( a wife and a mother to three boys all under the age of four) and that equals two or less dates a year.

 

  1. Read to my children at least 10 minutes every day.

Now I foresee that this will not be a small challenge since my twin sons are still in the’ tear-all papers’ phase. They seem to love the sound of paper being ripped apart. I may need to amend this resolution to ‘Reading to KDA (my first son, who’s almost four) for at least 10 minutes every day”.

 

  1. Repair my shoes.

I have a number of shoes that either need the soles replaced or the buckles fixed (I love Mary-Janes) but instead, I had just dumped them. I pledge to repair all my shoes that fall into this category before the end of the year.

RESOLUTIONS 2

  1. Have a fashion designer custom-make some clothes for me.

Although that may sound fancy to some of you, it’s really no big deal to have clothes custom-made for you where I come from. This is because you don’t have to pay an arm and a leg to have clothes that make you look like a Hollywood star on the red carpet. In Nigeria, the fashion industry is really booming and besides I am tired of just dressing corporate all the time.

  1. Buy more toys and games for my kids.

I believe kids grow and develop through play and you can never get back on your childhood. Besides, I want my kids to watch less TV so there has to be a healthy substitute. I am also looking for a book on easy art and crafts for them. If you have any suggestions, they are very welcome.

 

  1. Read my bible more.

I need to study the word of God more because I believe in him and want to get to know him more. And so do you. And if you are so sure you don’t believe in God and that he doesn’t exist, then it should not freak you out so much to read the Bible to find out for sure if all Christians all over the world are insane and you are not.

RESOLUTIONS 3

  1. Spend more time in prayer daily.

Yep. I really need to and I can’t wait to get started. I feel like I have a backlog of ‘talking to God’ to do.

 

  1. Stay away from the “sin that so easily besets me”.

Don’t ask and I won’t tell. Ask and I still won’t tell you. Hahah!

 

  1. Write an article that requires tons and tons of research and is border-line insane. Yeah, good luck to me with that.

 

  1. Close from work at 5.30pm everyday if I can help it. Yeah, work is important and so are my children.

 

  1. Have a great boss who encourages me, helps me grow and is easy to be around.

Never mind how I am going to achieve this. I have resolved that it must happen for me.

 

Remind me to give you an update on how well I am doing with my resolutions from time to time and I hope you can write out your own list and pursue it before the end of the year, no matter how complex or uncomplicated it is.

 

Have a great day!

RESOLUTIONS 4

HOUSE MAID, HOUSE STRESS

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housekeeping 2

Housemaids and house stress; they go hand in hand. The way I see it, if you live the kind of life I live – you work full time (meaning from dawn to dusk), and you have young children, maids become a necessary evil with no better alternative in sight.

For the purpose of clarity, when I use the word ‘Maid’, I am referring to a ‘female domestic worker’; a young lady who works within her employer’s household performing a variety of household services for an individual or a family, from providing care for children and elderly dependants to cleaning and household maintenance known as house-keeping. This can be for a sum of money or some other consideration such as sponsoring her education to a certain specified level.

Like I earlier said House maids mean house stress. Why? I hear you ask. You are probably thinking that maids are supposed to take the stress off you. Right? Right. However, in Nigeria where I live and from the numerous maids I have employed over time, I think I can safely conclude that they often increase your overall stress levels rather than decrease them.

Take my current maid for example. Nkechi (not her real name) drives me crazy sometimes. She claimed to have worked in a similar role for a year before I met her although she could not provide a reference because her phone crashed and she lost all her numbers. It would intrigue you that if you interview twenty random maids in Lagos, fifteen of them will give that exact same reason for not providing a reference. The other five would simply say they don’t have the number.

Anyway, when I employed Nkechi as a ‘live in’ maid, I soon discovered that she didn’t have a clue how to do any housework. Nkechi could not clean a toilet. As soon as she entered the toilet, she would mop the floor with soapy water and she would be begin to go round and round wiping it and realising her feet were making marks on the floor, she would begin to change position and stand on another clean spot. She did this for about five minutes straight. It did not occur to her that she needed to walk backwards while mopping the floor such that she could then stand outside the toilet and mop the last few spots. She did not wash the toilet bowl or the bathtub at all. She just stepped out and said she had completed the task. I thought it was a joke at first until I saw she was completely serious. Because I had carried out some health tests after employing her, I did not want to let her go as I would have to pay for the same tests when I employed someone else. Besides, getting a maid can be difficult sometimes so I kept her. I had to teach her everything. I taught her how to sweep, how to wipe a glass table without leaving marks, how to cook and so on. As if that is not enough, she can’t seem to take instructions. You tell her to do something before you leave for work in the morning and when you return at night and ask her if she had done the task, she would scratch her head and say “ Ma, I forgot.”

How about my last maid? I could not take it anymore. I had to let her go.  Did I hear you say “what did she do?” A more appropriate question is “what does she do?” Because for Rose (*not her real name), the problem she brings is a continuous one.

Rose is a very dirty lady. The truth is her hygiene level is below zero, even for an illiterate. Our grandmothers and great grandmothers have already shown us that illiteracy and filth do not necessarily go hand in hand.

The other day, my baby threw up on the rug and my husband told her to clean it up while I was attending to the child. My dear Rose saw no better option than to use the kitchen hand towel used for cleaning plates and wiping hands to clean up the vomit. When asked why? She replied with a puzzled expression “Sebi, I go wash am.” (Meaning “After all, I am going to wash it.) After initially raising my voice at her, I took the time to explain that cleaning up vomit with a hand towel could make everyone sick because of the germs from the vomit (pardon my repeated use of the word) and the floor. “Ok”, she replied. But Rose didn’t stop there. She then soaked the used hand towel in a plastic bowl used to wash food! I was mad!

Another thing about Rose is that the instructions she is given, she chooses not to carry them out or at best, rushes through them. Then she decides to think up creative chores to help me with and then creates a bigger problem. No one asked Rose to wash clothes. I have a laundryman who comes in every week to do the laundry. I put out the laundry for him to do.  Rose then decided that my husband’s ‘Pierre cadin’ suit being hung out for air needs a wash and she washes the suit through and through.

No one asked Rose to put fuel in the Generator. Rose went to put fuel in it and ends up spilling a good amount of fuel on the ground. Then she decided that my baby’s nails needs a trim, so she put his fingers in her mouth and she cut them off with, wait for it…her teeth!

And guess what? Rose achieves all this in just one day. She does more harm than good. Ever smiling, she is problem per excellence. She is very enthusiastic about working but refuses to follow instructions. I have tried to train and teach her but she thinks she knows a better way to do the job. And so, that’s it I was done, done, done.

I called another agency (not the God- forsaken one that gave her to me) to find another maid and I got Nkechi, who at least isn’t as bad as Rose and loves my children. I am keeping her for now but just so you know, anytime I strike you as border-line insane, maids are definitely a major factor why I am starting to be Looney.

 

                                                                                    Jola Adewale.

 

HOUSE MAID, HOUSE STRESS

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housekeeping 2

Housemaids and house stress; they go hand in hand. The way I see it, if you live the kind of life I live – you work full time (meaning from dawn to dusk), and you have young children, maids become a necessary evil with no better alternative in sight. For the purpose of clarity, when I use the word ‘Maid’, I am referring to a ‘female domestic worker’; a young lady who works within an employer’s household performing a variety of household services for an individual or a family, from providing care for children and elderly dependents to cleaning and household maintenance, known as housekeeping. This can be for a sum of money or for some other consideration such as sponsoring her education to a certain specified level.

Like I earlier said House maids mean house stress. Why? I hear you ask. You are probably thinking that maids are supposed to take the stress off you. Right? Right. However, in Nigeria where I live and from the numerous maids I have employed over time, I think I can safely conclude that they often increase your overall stress levels rather than decrease them.

Take my current maid for example. Nkechi (not her real name) drives me crazy sometimes. She claimed to have worked in a similar role for a year before I met her although she could not provide a reference because her phone crashed and she lost all her numbers. It would intrigue you that if you interview twenty random maids in Lagos, fifteen of them will give that exact same reason for not providing a reference. The other five would simply say they don’t have the number.

Anyway, when I employed Nkechi as a ‘live in’ maid, I soon discovered that she didn’t have a clue how to do any housework. Nkechi could not clean a toilet. As soon as she entered the toilet, she would mop the floor with soapy water and she would be begin to go round and round wiping it and realising her feet were making marks on the floor, she would begin to change position and stand on another clean spot. She did this for about five minutes straight. It did not occur to her that she needed to walk backwards while mopping the floor such that she could then stand outside the toilet and mop the last few spots. She did not wash the toilet bowl or the bathtub at all. She just stepped out and said she had completed the task. I thought it was a joke at first until I saw she was completely serious. Because I had carried out some health tests after employing her, I did not want to let her go as I would have to pay for the same tests when I employed someone else. Besides, getting a maid can be difficult sometimes so I kept her. I had to teach her everything. I taught her how to sweep, how to wipe a glass table without leaving marks, how to cook and so on. As if that is not enough, she can’t seem to take instructions. You tell her to do something before you leave for work in the morning and when you return at night and ask her if she had done the task, she would scratch her head and say “ Ma, I forgot.”

How about my last maid? I could not take it anymore. I had to let her go. Did I hear you say “what did she do?” A more appropriate question is “what does she do?” Because for Rose (*not her real name), the problem she brings is a continuous one.Rose is a very dirty lady. The truth is her hygiene level is below zero, even for an illiterate. Our grandmothers and great grandmothers have already shown us that illiteracy and filth do not necessarily go hand in hand.The other day, my baby threw up on the rug and my husband told her to clean it up while I was attending to the child. My dear Rose saw no better option than to use the kitchen hand towel used for cleaning plates and wiping hands to clean up the vomit. When asked why? She replied with a puzzled expression “Sebi, I go wash am.” (Meaning “After all, I am going to wash it.) After initially raising my voice at her, I took the time to explain that cleaning up vomit with a hand towel could make everyone sick because of the germs from the vomit (pardon my repeated use of the word) and the floor. “Ok”, she replied. But Rose didn’t stop there. She then soaked the used hand towel in a plastic bowl used to wash food! I was mad!

Another thing about Rose is that the instructions she is given, she chooses not to carry them out or at best, rushes through them. Then she decides to think up creative chores to help me with and then creates a bigger problem. No one asked Rose to wash clothes. I have a laundryman who comes in every week to do the laundry. I put out the laundry for him to do. Rose then decided that my husband’s ‘Pierre cadin’ suit being hung out for air needs a wash and she washes the suit through and through. No one asked Rose to put fuel in the Generator. Rose went to put fuel in it and ends up spilling a good amount of fuel on the ground. Then she decided that my baby’s nails needs a trim, so she put his fingers in her mouth and she cut them off with, wait for it…her teeth!

And guess what? Rose achieves all this in just one day. She does more harm than good. Ever smiling, she is problem per excellence. She is very enthusiastic about working but refuses to follow instructions. I have tried to train and teach her but she thinks she knows a better way to do the job. And so, that’s it I was done, done, done.I called another agency (not the God- forsaken one that gave her to me) to find another maid and I got Nkechi, who at least isn’t as bad as Rose and loves my children. I am keeping her for now but just so you know, anytime I strike you as border-line insane, maids are definitely a major factor why I am starting to be Looney.

HEART OF GOLD

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A ROMANTIC POEM TO PUT YOU AT EASE THIS FRIDAY. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, GUYS!!

Golden heart, royal feet

What fortune made you cross my path?

Strong hands, gentle lips

What does your heart yearn for?

What does your spirit say?

Would our love burn out soon

Or would it glow eternal?

Oceans and Rivers flow unhindered

When they flow with creator’s breath.

Love and freedom are childhood friends.

They danced at the village square together

And learnt to be men of steel forever.

They would speak for us

They would not lie.

So, rest my Warrior, my oily priest.

Little Hyenas laugh all night

But they always know Mama’s voice.

– Jolaoluwa Adewale.

THE JAMES BOND SYNDROME

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He walks into the room,black tuxedo and white starched shirt. All eyes are drawn to him, as pins are drawn to a magnet.He always wins, even when he makes mistakes. He’s the king of machines and latest inventions. He gets to kiss every lady in the room and it’s no crime. C’mon. He’s James Bond!

This is the syndrome that plagues a lot of men these days. My mother used to call them Casanovas, my grandmother called them ‘Woman- wrapper’ but we simply call them players.These brothers attempt to rewrite history. They never commit to any sister or at best, just for a short while.They don’t believe in the law of nemesis or the golden rule that says “Treat others how you want to be treated”. They think ‘i ll never grow old’ and their philosophy? Life is a party. Rock it till the end.

Now, I must concede one little thing to these guys, they are eye- catching. They have got style and lyrics, the ingredients needed to make a girl’s pulse race. But you see, sisters, if any of you have been on the dating scene long enough, you would know that with these breed, the story is always the same.

The problem with them is not their looks or their song, it’s their inspiration. Women are no different from a designer perfume, to be worn till you acquire another favourite. So,one piece of advise to the ladies. JAMES BOND IS AN ACTOR! IT IS A FILM! wake up and smell the hot coffee! Unlike the nusery rhyme, Life is NOT a Dream! Get rid of the Mills and boons Stories in your head. The ending may be right but the process usually isn’t. A man who you had distrusted and despised for decades with good reason usually doesnt turn into a symbol of trust and constancy overnight, ingredients necessary for lasting love. At best, they glitter for a little while, then go back to their dull gray colour again but usually after putting a dagger through your heart.

Consciously desire to be attracted to and sought by the right kind of men. Men who would treat you with respect, honor and appreciate your strengths and your dreams and simply understand that commitment means to be present both emotionally and otherwise.

Let James Bonds remain in the cinemas and let the real men step up. Cheers.

– JOLAOLUWA ADEWALE.